Day of Love

I once heard a man say, he want to out-LOVE his wife. He want to do better for her than she does for him, because she is the center of his desire.

 

This is the designated day of love. This week more money will be spent on love related products than any other. This week we will revive, retrieve and renew that dead, lost or stale love of yesterday, at least for today.

Many will say, “Valentine, will you be mine, today, this week or just this weekend?” …but what happens after this week has passed and the flowers are dead? Will the love go back to the way it was?

When we learn that love is not for a season, but designed to last for a lifetime, we are ahead of the game. Often, we marry and we know not the true meaning of love.

What is love? What does it look like? Can we find a description? The most perfect example of true love is, God. The best example is found in his word, 1 Corinthian 13:4-7.

When we learn to love without condition, we can expect to have a great lifetime of love. When we love like God designed we will love with patience. We will be kind; paying attention to what may hurt our spouse and what really matters.

When we love our spouse we do not envy, it doesn’t matter who makes the most money, because it is for the good of the family. There is no boasting about your accomplishments in true love. Continue reading “Day of Love”

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Paying Attention to Detail

Notice and express a positive comment about her new dress or his fresh haircut, because small compliments matter. Tell her how good the dinner was. Tell him the yard looks nice.

As much as I like detail, I am the worst, when it comes to paying attention to detail. How does that make sense? Well… I don’t make mental notes of random information. I can’t always tell you what someone was wearing, where they were standing or who were with them, unless I find it information that is important to mentally store or something really caught my attention/eye.

More people are like me than they may care to admit. There is tons of information surrounding us in a matter of minutes. My philosophy is… “Why clog my brain with things that are not pertinent. At my age I must preserve all the brain cells I can.”;)

Kevin and I were on our way to worship, when we noticed a business we pass, daily, on the main road, had closed. I don’t know when it closed, but from the looks of things, it seems as if it had been a while. When they were opened we never noted many cars there and that may be the reason it closed. Continue reading “Paying Attention to Detail”

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Leave and Cleave

When marriage was designed, a man was ordered to leave and cleave …that is to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, the bible tell us this in Genesis 2:24. However, that time seems so very long ago and things are different now, right?

Well, the world may change and people may change, but God’s words stay the same. “But, that’s in the Old Testament,” scholars may say, “We are living under the New Testament laws of today’s Christians.”

That is true, and the Old Testament is indeed for our learning. When a man …keyword,“man” becomes a husband, his major priority becomes his own wife. A wise person can learn from positive past experience, needing not to reinvent the wheel.

Now reverting back …this command was so very important that it was indeed brought to the New Testament, the law we stand under today. We can find the same stated scripture repeated again in Matthew 19:5.

It is also, often said in the marriage vows, as it is stated, ” “Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”…remember that part? Continue reading “Leave and Cleave”

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The Dishonesty in Marriage

Nothing is like the strong detergent of truth, keeping things in the relationship honest and clean.

Why is there so much dishonesty in marriage? A woman might ask, “Why do men lie?” A man might say, “You know you can’t trust a woman.” Why do those thoughts reside with the woman or the man? Is it because of failure, the desire to deceive, the fear of honest or just because the option of lying leaves mystery and secrets are concealed?

Whatever the reason, it brings a dark awful cloud into the relationship. A relationship built on lies is simply not real and bound to fall. It is always said if something doesn’t come out in the wash; it will certainly come out in the rinse.

Just the fact of lying is a dirty job. When we tell one lie, we have to tell another and who remembers what was said the last time? The person you told the lie silently remembers and often keeps a reflective head tally, just to remind you and watch as your web of deceit grows, until the day you are all tied up in them and just as a spider’s web catches its prey …so will your lie catch you.

Nonetheless, nothing is like the strong detergent of truth, keeping things in the relationship honest and clean. There is nothing like having someone who you can trust. Someone whom you can share thoughts and always know they honestly, have your best interest at heart.

Prayerfully that person is your spouse. Honesty and trust is that rock, solid foundation that builds confidence in your spouse, even in the smallest matters, like… “Honey do you like my new necklace?”the wife may ask. “Well, I think it is a bit large for your neck. I think something a bit smaller would look better. What do you think?”

It was honest, inviting and it took courage. Tone can play a part. We must know how to respond to our spouse. Honesty can be brutal, if not done in love… in actuality, it can be brutal if done in love. Will the response hurt? What is she looking for, maybe a boost of self-esteem? Lying is never the way to go. You can get more of the worst, leading her to think it is the best. That applies in any situation.

So, I challenge you, this day, to consciously be honest. Respond with truth. If you can’t do it, there may be a problem, but try again. Never give up. We never note or strive hard until we are challenged. Honesty, builds strong marriages and great friendships.

The dishonesty in marriage, I promise you, will tear your marriage apart. Being prayerful, vigilant and speaking consciously is the first steps towards a honest marriage. Vow to be honest. It is so worth the effort.

 

 

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Kiss While There is Still Time

There is nothing worse than going to the bank to cash a check and the tellers says, Non-Sufficient-Funds or trying to draw from a special memory shared with that spouse and there are none.

One last kiss …kiss while there is still time, is the thought for today.  Kiss while the day is young. When I make a remark like, “Wow, death is in the air. There are so many people who died this week.” Kevin would say something like, “There are so many people who die every week.”

However, the “Duh” moment may be_ it stands true. Life is short and tomorrow is not promised. I know three elderly spouses, who are being buried this week. All couples who lost their spouses were marries over fifty years.

I am sure they can’t imagine what life will be like, now that they must go on along. I hope they have left their spouses much more than an insurance policy, but a bank full of wonderful memories to pull from when the nights are dark and the moments are sad, memories that bring joy and laughter.

When that day of death, come we have nothing else left but memories. So while there is still time, enjoy and make those memories that can last past our demise. Kiss while there is still time. Create laughter that brings tears to our eyes, and lasting wonderful moments of family and friends, while there is still time.

There is nothing worse than going to the bank to cash a check and the tellers says, Non-Sufficient-Funds or trying to draw from a special memory shared with that spouse and there are none. It is awful when we attend a funeral and nobody can find anything honestly wonderful to speak on in reference to the deceased. Continue reading “Kiss While There is Still Time”

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A Natural Mother

I stepped in the marriage in the wrong role. He is the head of the house. I am our children’s mother and his wife, not his mother, but his helpmeet as the bible describes it.

Some people are born a natural mother. You can see it in their childhood. I am that person. As I look back I realize I was a mother waiting for a child. Mothering is part of who I am, my personality.

I remember my first doll, which came in this big box, she was so soft. I was her mother and she was my new baby. As I grew older, too old for dolls, I was the great baby sitter.

My dates with Kevin often included tag along kids, which I was mothering at that point. I knew what I wanted from Kevin, to get married and have a daughter.

All went well, just as plan… until I began to mother him and the baby. I figured he needed me to guide him and show him what to do. He had never been married and somehow, though I had never been married either, I thought I was the authority. Continue reading “A Natural Mother”

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The Sweetest Gesture Ever!

I visualized the event, as she told it, each moment as if I were there. I never met her husband nor could I tell you her name, but the story has made a romantic memory not only with her, but me too, just to know love and romance is alive and well, still living in the hearts of many.

I had the opportunity to stand and listen to a stranger as she shared with me one of the sweetest gestures I had heard in quite a while. Have you ever had someone tell a story and you get so caught up in it, that it brings tears to your eyes? I am just that kind of girl. I rejoice in other’s joy as well as my own.

This story showed the thoughtfulness of husbands.  As I listened I was impressed with her husband’s level of creative thinking. He may have not thought about the everlasting memory he made.

So what happened, you are wondering? It was their anniversary of many years and he made arrangements to spend the weekend in the mountains. After the car was all packed, he had to stop by the church to drop off a check. Continue reading “The Sweetest Gesture Ever!”

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Pick Our Family

Who is this person I married? Why did’t I see this coming. Who did I pick? The one time I get to pick, I picked a masked person! No… I was blindfolded by the opportunity.

We are always told, we can’t pick our family, right? Well, in essence, that is true …for the most part. If we could pick our families what would it be like? Perfect?

That can only happen if we don’t choose people. 🙂 There are no perfect people, so there are no perfect families. If they appear to be …just take a closer, deeper look.

Today, I heard someone say, “The one time we get to choose our family member we often mess it up.” See, we do get to choose our spouse, as we say, “I do,” for confirmation. In the process we often are more excited about the opportunity than the process.

This is one family member we get to pick, so it should be done carefully. It should not be rushed. We put more time in finding the right house than finding the right spouse.

We choose to impress rather than finding that which is best. Then, we are upset when we get them home, we note they are spending too much time on their phone. Continue reading “Pick Our Family”

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National Spouse Day!!!

Enjoy the time you two have together tonight …because tomorrow or the next National Spouse Day, may never be seen, seeing that time is not promised.

National Spouse Day! What an awesome gesture. I was told this, by a friends as I was working, today. I never heard of this day. Maybe this is it’s first year.

Nonetheless, I am excited that someone thought to have a day that celebrates marriage. So, though most of this day is over, the evening is still young …CELEBRATE! Nothing spectacular, just words of recognition or maybe a kiss.

It’s the small things in life that matter. When we learn to value marriage_ our time spent together becomes much more important than another wrapped gift …besides if you have many years together, what do you give, which hasn’t already been given?  You give more of your time. 🙂 That’s all that matters. 🙂

Point… Enjoy the time you two have together tonight …because tomorrow or the next NSD may never be seen, seeing that time is not promised. Give that spontaneous kiss, that hug, words of encouragement tonight, in celebration of this GREAT National Spouse Day!!! Enjoy! Now get off of social media and go make it GREAT! 😉

 

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Informal Education

It is often the early, informal education that teaches us to identify and not fall into things that are contradictory to our marriages.

There are several avenues of learning, one being informal education. Is it less valid, because it is informal? Certainly not. Some of the best lessons that are ever taught are done in informal settings, settings outside of the classroom.

The best thing about informal teaching, for me is… it’s free and often intimate. No monetary offerings needed, but we must know how to pick and choose, because everything that is free is not always good.

When we receive that informal education it helps us to develop our common sense. My mom always said, “There is no sense like common sense.”

Informal education can be very, very helpful in our marriages. When we see a great successful marriage, we should pick the couple’s brain to learn tools of what works and what usually doesn’t. That is an opportunity for a free, informal, valuable lesson. Continue reading “Informal Education”

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