The Sweetest Gesture Ever!

I visualized the event, as she told it, each moment as if I were there. I never met her husband nor could I tell you her name, but the story has made a romantic memory not only with her, but me too, just to know love and romance is alive and well, still living in the hearts of many.

I had the opportunity to stand and listen to a stranger as she shared with me one of the sweetest gestures I had heard in quite a while. Have you ever had someone tell a story and you get so caught up in it, that it brings tears to your eyes? I am just that kind of girl. I rejoice in other’s joy as well as my own.

This story showed the thoughtfulness of husbands.  As I listened I was impressed with her husband’s level of creative thinking. He may have not thought about the everlasting memory he made.

So what happened, you are wondering? It was their anniversary of many years and he made arrangements to spend the weekend in the mountains. After the car was all packed, he had to stop by the church to drop off a check. Continue reading “The Sweetest Gesture Ever!”

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail

National Spouse Day!!!

Enjoy the time you two have together tonight …because tomorrow or the next National Spouse Day, may never be seen, seeing that time is not promised.

National Spouse Day! What an awesome gesture. I was told this, by a friends as I was working, today. I never heard of this day. Maybe this is it’s first year.

Nonetheless, I am excited that someone thought to have a day that celebrates marriage. So, though most of this day is over, the evening is still young …CELEBRATE! Nothing spectacular, just words of recognition or maybe a kiss.

It’s the small things in life that matter. When we learn to value marriage_ our time spent together becomes much more important than another wrapped gift …besides if you have many years together, what do you give, which hasn’t already been given?  You give more of your time. 🙂 That’s all that matters. 🙂

Point… Enjoy the time you two have together tonight …because tomorrow or the next NSD may never be seen, seeing that time is not promised. Give that spontaneous kiss, that hug, words of encouragement tonight, in celebration of this GREAT National Spouse Day!!! Enjoy! Now get off of social media and go make it GREAT! 😉

 

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail

Informal Education

It is often the early, informal education that teaches us to identify and not fall into things that are contradictory to our marriages.

There are several avenues of learning, one being informal education. Is it less valid, because it is informal? Certainly not. Some of the best lessons that are ever taught are done in informal settings, settings outside of the classroom.

The best thing about informal teaching, for me is… it’s free and often intimate. No monetary offerings needed, but we must know how to pick and choose, because everything that is free is not always good.

When we receive that informal education it helps us to develop our common sense. My mom always said, “There is no sense like common sense.”

Informal education can be very, very helpful in our marriages. When we see a great successful marriage, we should pick the couple’s brain to learn tools of what works and what usually doesn’t. That is an opportunity for a free, informal, valuable lesson. Continue reading “Informal Education”

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail

New Beginnings Spot Check

The married life is not a sprint; we must pace and train ourselves to become distant runners. Otherwise, we will burn out quickly and become ready to throw in the towel. Just like those resolutions.

 

“This is our year!” many of us shouted, “2017…this will be the best year EVER!” We made more New Year plans than we can truly digest. I guess we made them with good intentions; otherwise we wouldn’t have bothered, right?

Well …here we all stand in the line of progression or stagnation. It is nearing the end of the first month of this year. How do we all stand? Time for a spot check… Did we lose the five pounds, one, two or maybe three? Did we go back to church, find Jesus, spend that quality time with family, start that book, enroll in that class and spend more quality time with our spouses?

Yes …that is a lot to decipher, but often those are the goals we set …often, all at once and we set ourselves up for failure, every time. Let us learn to plan realistically. Most of our marriages fail because we have set up unrealistic goals and expectations for ourselves.

The married life is not a sprint; we must pace and train ourselves to become distant runners. Otherwise, we will burn out quickly and become ready to throw in the towel. Just like those resolutions. Continue reading “New Beginnings Spot Check”

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail

The Best Spouse Ever!

In marriage we must learn to be more grateful and appreciative of what we are blessed with even if it is only each other. That is a lot.

I heard a child say, yesterday, his mom is the best mom ever. I quickly knew that was a relevant statement. In one sense it was true, in his heart of love and in his little eyes, she is the best mom ever. In another sense, society’s standards may differ. “Best,” is always comparative. To be “best,” we must compare it to “worst,” “good” and “better,” right?

I never get into the comparative games of this world. You can never catch up. It’s like the rabbit with the carrot hanging over his head. The rabbit’s not smart enough to understand that the carrot dangles on a halo before his eyes, a carrot he can see, but never reach.

In marriage we must learn to be more grateful and appreciative of what we are blessed with even if it is only each other. That is a lot. There are many people who lone for a spouse, who loves them, the companionship of another being. Continue reading “The Best Spouse Ever!”

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail

My Biggest Fan …So You Say

Are you a fans of your friends or your hobbies? Is it your job, your status, religious beliefs …wait… how can we put God in with all that other stuff that can distract us?

You are my biggest fan …so you say, but what does your character say? What does fans do? Well …fans support the cause. If I am a fan of an artist, I will buy their tickets, I will attend their events and I follow them, all because I am a fan, I support them.

…Because I am a fan, I show interest in their cause. I may be a fan and they never know my name, yet I positively promote and defend them and their cause to others.

Yesterday’s post was titled, “You are my Biggest Fan” and I left us with the thought of, “Your spouse should be your biggest fan and if that is not the case we need to do some marital evaluation. Continue reading “My Biggest Fan …So You Say”

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail

Let Them Be

Let us remember …we are all who we are. Find the good, magnify it. Find the balance. Pick your battles. Know when it is a battle you should surrender unto.

 

One of the hardest lessons in life is learning to let people be who they are. We have a long trail of trying to change people, starting in infancy …screaming until the loving parents fold. Later, we try to change our childhood playmates into the friend that plays the way we designed or we will take our toys and go home. Then, it’s the siblings, adult friends and even our spouses.

It is an exhausting challenges to try to change adult people.  It is exhausting because we try and fail and then we try again and fail again. We try until we have a revelation, realizing, we cannot change adult people. It’s like trying to change the shape of a hundred year old oak tree.

Nonetheless, people do change, but by their own choice. They may hear what you tell them, trying to direct them into a better way, but it is them that have to embrace the thought and change.

In our relationships, we must realize and truly accept the fact that we cannot redesign our spouses, making them function totally the way we would like. They were full grown, adults when we married them. I know some are thinking they only had an adult body. 🙂 Nonetheless, they were who we chose and they were already molded.

Till death do us part, we can only make suggestions. Experience tells me, nagging doesn’t help, in fact it may do just the opposite. At some point when you have tried and tried again to make, what you think may be positive suggestions and they are not absorbed, you have to come to a conclusion, for yourself, your spouse and the love of the marriage to let them be who they are. If it’s nothing detrimental, learn to adjust. We all have something that causes us to be different and even soooo different.

Pick peace over worrying about minor conforming, understanding over controversy, fine that love that has no regrets, then use that love to covers a multitude of errors that don’t really matter, error that boils down to likes and dislikes.

After almost forty years of marriage, I still have to ask Kevin to take out the garbage, but it never turns into an argument as it did in the early years. Most times I don’t ask  …I just do it myself. Often, I have to put the toilet seat down. These are no right or wrongs. He could very well argue I should put it up when I am done, right? 🙂 He now puts the cap on the tooth paste… yeah. I never load the dishwasher to his liking. He still comments on it periodically, but it’s okay, he just rearranges them.

Let us remember …we are all who we are. Find the good, magnify it. Find the balance. Pick your battles. Know when it is a battle you should surrender unto. Last, but not least, don’t spend eons trying to mold your spouse, while missing the present time of loving, enjoying and allowing them to be who they are, embrace the small stuff and pray for everything else. The secret is …it is only God that can change the heart of a woman or a man in all that matters …not the spouse!

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail

The Gift of Gratefulness

Keep your marriage new; don’t become so complacent that a gift is expected and no big deal. It is a big deal! It took thought and time to think of you, even if it is a gift card.

 

Do we remember the gift of gratefulness? Is it one that still exists? In this fast paced world of the entitled, we are losing the appreciation of gratitude.

I thought about this as I learned of a couple of incidents this past week. In one incident, someone close to me thought of her co-worker and wanted to give her a gift. Continue reading “The Gift of Gratefulness”

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail

The Gift of Understanding

Wouldn’t it be dynamic to receive the gift of understanding? Everyone wants to be understood, even Fido, right? Everyone feels a certain satisfaction when understanding occurs; whether it’s a teacher finally getting the light to connect in the student’s head, a mother finally getting her child, to understand her position or a friend showing the compassion of understanding to us, when needed. Everyone wants to be understood.

The spouse is no different. Sometimes in our relationships, we get the word, “understand” confused with “confirming to agreeing with a fact.” Understanding does not mean to, necessarily agree. The spouse may understand a fact of why or how something happened, yet not agree that it should have happened. Continue reading “The Gift of Understanding”

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail

Give The Gift of Peace

This year give the gift of peace to your spouse. Practice peacefully, enjoying each other’s company and each other’s presence. Work on the attitude of becoming more peaceful, welcoming and approachable.

Whenever an opportunity presents itself to spend that peaceful, quality time together, take it. Do the movie night. If you can’t leave home because of the kids, put them to bed early and have a peaceful movie night at home.

Create a quiet, peaceful romantic dinner for the two of you. Don’t bring up things that can cause it to go left. Choose peaceful topics to talk about. Stay away from, finance, politics and the children. Continue reading “Give The Gift of Peace”

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail